Wednesday, October 1, 2014

My Heart

Before I left to Paris, I decided that I wanted to get back into my personal blog and post more about things that I love. For the past year or so, I was in a on again-off again little funk where I just didn't feel 100% with myself. I didn't want to take pictures anymore and just didn't care to get dressed or how I looked. I wasn't inspired or motivated. But one day, I was speaking to one of my youth (from church) and realized that we all feel the same way at times and to some it ends up being something they can't get out of. I've always said that self-confidence is the most beautiful thing you could wear, but I felt like I wasn't living that to the fullest. So, it's like I was lying to myself. My heart has always been to inspire young women to be confident and really go after their dreams. The world we live in is cruel and there are not enough people who have stepped up to be a positive influence to that young generation. I am not saying that I'm perfect or that what I do is the only way to do things, but I believe that there are young ladies who need just a little encouragement and inspiration, which can be just enough for them to strive to make a difference and that's what I aim to do. As I looked at my life recently, I realized that I have not been doing what I've preached. 

So, can I be real for a second?! Sometimes we get sucked into that dark place where we feel terrible about ourselves. Yes, I've gained weight. Yes, I've grown up AND I don't look like I used to. But, being sad about it and complaining isn't going to get me anywhere. So, I had to do something about it. I started going to the gym again and it's a lifestyle choice I made, not to just lose weight, but to feel better about me. I truly don't care what society's standards are, but I know that I'm not up to my standards because I'm not happy. So, I had to figure out what those standards are for ME, not for anyone else. Do I want to go to the gym everyday? Absolutely not! I'm tired. I live a super busy life and it's not like I just sit around my house eating cupcakes everyday (although, I would totally love that) and the gym is not the priority. But I HAVE to make it a priority, so that its a true part of my daily routine and not something that will fade away. I believe in making goals and striving to achieve them, but lets face it, it doesn't always work out that way. Half way through the year, you forget what your goals were and then your worse than when you started. So, my goal is not to lose 25 lbs or look like I did when I was in high school, but simply just GO to the gym. I just have make it there, 5 days a week. One of my favorite directors, Woody Allen, said "80% is just showing up," which is something I truly believe and I now live by. If I show up to the gym, I'm going to work out, which will give me results. The hardest part is getting out of my house, but once I'm there, I have to work out. Eating habits and nutrition is another HUGE part of this process, but I'm trying to figure it out one step at a time. 

This has been in my heart for a while and I feel the need to share it. My own experience and how real these feelings are. It takes a toll on you and it shows in everything you do. It can hurt relationships and just be such a terrible part of your life, so you have to find an outlet and something to look forward to. Fashion and style is something that I truly have a passion for. Dressing myself and other people makes me happy and its one of the ways I know how to express myself. I do #FashionDiaries and blog because I actually enjoy it, but also because I feel like girls and women should not be ashamed of how they look and they should be proud of it. It shouldn't be about vanity although it could turn into that, but I feel like its more of an outlet to inspire others (in a modest way, of course). Some ladies need more help than others and I want to be that source of inspiration. Know that I feel just like you sometimes, but with just a little bit of effort, that can be changed. We are not meant to look like the girls in the magazines. You just gotta look like you and feel great about it! I feel like my trip to Paris stirred up so many feelings inside of me and this is one of them. I just want to encourage you take that step that you've been wanting to take and get out of your funk (if you are in it!). Be confident in yourself and ask God to allow you to help someone else that may be in the same situation you were in before.  

A part of this whole feeling inspired me to want to get dressed up in Paris and just enjoy the moment! The photos below are from a little spontaneous shoot I did with my sweet friend, Bianca. We got all dolled up and took pics around the city. It was so much fun! Every single part of Paris is picturesque, so it was easy to find a place to do a little #FashionDiaries shoot. If you're going on vacation or traveling somewhere, I encourage you to get dolled up and model your little heart out! I hope this post encourages you to take that step and get inspired. xo
Jelli :: top, skirt, blazer - f21 \\  shoes - Christian Louboutin \\  glasses - Ray-Ban \\ petticoat - ebay
Bianca :: dress - Zac Posen for Target \\ belt - vintage \\ shoes - HM

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